[clop clop]

  ARTHUR:  Old woman!

  DENNIS:  Man!

  ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry.  What knight live in that castle over there?

  DENNIS:  I'm thirty seven.

  ARTHUR:  What?

  DENNIS:  I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!

  ARTHUR:  Well, I can't just call you `Man'.

  DENNIS:  Well, you could say `Dennis'.

  ARTHUR:  Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'

  DENNIS:  Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?

  ARTHUR:  I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind

      you looked--

  DENNIS:  What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!

  ARTHUR:  Well, I AM king...

  DENNIS:  Oh king, eh, very nice.  An' how'd you get that, eh?  By

      exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma

      which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!

      If there's ever going to be any progress--

  WOMAN:  Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here.  Oh -- how d'you do?

  ARTHUR:  How do you do, good lady.  I am Arthur, King of the Britons.

      Who's castle is that?

  WOMAN:  King of the who?

  ARTHUR:  The Britons.

  WOMAN:  Who are the Britons?

  ARTHUR:  Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.

  WOMAN:  I didn't know we had a king.  I thought we were an autonomous

      collective.

  DENNIS:  You're fooling yourself.  We're living in a dictatorship.

      A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--

  WOMAN:  Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.

  DENNIS:  That's what it's all about if only people would--

  ARTHUR:  Please, please good people.  I am in haste.  Who lives

      in that castle?

  WOMAN:  No one live there.

  ARTHUR:  Then who is your lord?

  WOMAN:  We don't have a lord.

  ARTHUR:  What?

  DENNIS:  I told you.  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.  We take

      it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.

  ARTHUR:  Yes.

  DENNIS:  But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified

      at a special biweekly meeting.

  ARTHUR:  Yes, I see.

  DENNIS:  By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--

  ARTHUR:  Be quiet!

  DENNIS:  --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--

  ARTHUR:  Be quiet!  I order you to be quiet!

  WOMAN:  Order, eh -- who does he think he is?

  ARTHUR:  I am your king!

  WOMAN:  Well, I didn't vote for you.

  ARTHUR:  You don't vote for kings.

  WOMAN:  Well, 'ow did you become king then?

  ARTHUR:  The Lady of the Lake,

      [angels sing]

      her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur

      from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,

      Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.

      [singing stops]

      That is why I am your king!

  DENNIS:  Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords

      is no basis for a system of government.  Supreme executive power

      derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical

      aquatic ceremony.

  ARTHUR:  Be quiet!

  DENNIS:  Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power

      just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

  ARTHUR:  Shut up!

  DENNIS:  I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just

      because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd

      put me away!

  ARTHUR:  Shut up!  Will you shut up!

  DENNIS:  Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.

  ARTHUR:  Shut up!

  DENNIS:  Oh!  Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

      HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!

  ARTHUR:  Bloody peasant!

  DENNIS:  Oh, what a give away.  Did you here that, did you here that,

      eh?  That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,

      you saw it didn't you?

- Monty Python and The Quest For the Holy Grail