I’m too sexy for New Hampshire, too sexy for New Hampshire
No one’s going to beat me (sung as Rep. Dick Gephardt)

I’m too sexy for the polls, too sexy for my money
so sexy it hurts (sung as Sen. John Edwards)

And I’m too sexy for Concord, too sexy for Keene
Portsmouth and Manch (sung as Rep. Dennis Kucinich)

And I’m too sexy for Saturday
Too sexy for the liberals
Hey Ray (Buckley) I’m disco dancing (sung as Sen. Joe Lieberman)

I’m John Kerry and you know I’m aloof
And I do my little thing on my Harley
Yeah with big hair
And the ketchup money
I do my little thing in the wetsuit (sung as Sen. John Kerry)

I’m too sexy to campaign, too sexy for these men
Too sexy by far (sung by Carol Moseley Braun)

And I’m too sexy for NATO, too sexy for CNN
Hey Dems think about that (sung as Gen. Wesley Clark)

I’m Howard Dean you and know I’m the Doc
And I do my little thing with the Iraqis
Yeah with the hippies
Not John Kerry yeah
I shake my little touche on MeetUp.com (sung as Gov. Howard Dean)
I’m too sexy for McCain, too sexy for Hussein, too sexy for the Dems (sung as President George W. Bush)

Cause I’m Dick Gephardt you know I love labor
And I do my winning thing in New Hampshire
Yeah with Demers
Greathouse, Mattoon, and Ward
I’ll beat their touches in the primary (sung as Rep. Dick Gephardt)

I’m too sexy for the FEC, too sexy for a staff
Poor Reverend, poor Reverend Al (sung as Al Sharpton)

I’m too sexy for my notebooks, too sexy for charisma
Vice President for me (sung as Sen. Bob Graham)

And I’m too sexy for this song (sung as Rep. Dick Gephardt)